Why You Should Stop Believing Your Old Stories!

We all have a story to tell!

Stories are created from the experiences of your past and are a collection of events that have helped shaped who you are today.

kids-497535_1280Your story might be colourful, captivating, fascinating and full of magic. Or on the other hand it might be dark, desolate, fearful and void of freedom. For most, it is a combination of the good and the not so good but non-the-less, your story tells the tale of your life.

But what makes one story different from the other? Children who are raised in the same family and share similar experiences for example tell their stories differently. Still others who seemingly have a good start in life tell a version, far removed from that good place.

It is the INTERPRETATION of your story that sets the stage on which you live the tragedy or the comedy of your life.

Your Interpretation Includes:

  • The spin you put on the ever-changing circumstances that come your way.
  • The way in which you consume and/or internalize stories and ideas that have been told to you by others.
  • The platform of reality or perception from which you experience your life events.
  • The meaning you attach to the occurrences that come knocking at your door.

Your interpretation is either from a negative place or a positive place. What you believe to be true about yourself determines the story of your life. If you believe the stories others have told you from a negative place or attach a meaning that is not in your best interest, you set the stage for tragedy after tragedy.

If on the other hand you choose to put a positive spin on an event, situation or circumstance and base it on what is ‘real’ and not some altered perception, then you are more likely to enjoy the ride of your life, with a good few laughs in between! 🙂

In this blog I attempt to challenge some of the old stories you may have been told about yourself  The stories that keep you in self-doubt and darkness. The stories responsible for the limiting beliefs that neither serve you or give you space to shine.

What Are Some Of The Old Stories That Do Not Serve You? Do They Sound Like This?

  • People don’t like me
  • Everyone hates me
  • I’m not good enough
  • I don’t deserve to be happy
  • I don’t deserved to be loved
  • I will always be poor
  • This always happens to me
  • I will never succeed
  • Things never work out for me
  • I never have enough
  • Life is always hard, tough or a struggle
  • I’ll always be ugly
  • It’s ok to be used and abused
  • Everything’s hopeless

If you have read my about me page or Ebook you will know that my childhood was not the best. My mother was an alcoholic and my father was physically  and verbally abusive. I grew up with a lot of dysfunction in my life.

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However I was determined to break the abusive cycle and chose to put a ‘different spin’ on the circumstances of my life.

I ‘refused to internalize’ the stories my parents told me or to make their story’s mine.

I resolved to live from the ‘platform of reality’ to experience the events of my life. When a new circumstance came along, I gave it little or ‘no meaning’ unless it helped move my journey forward.

Of course it wasn’t something I did automatically. I learned skills and techniques, practiced and applied them on a regular basis until they became second nature. But the process did help me to remove the old stories that once featured strongly in my mind.

Today, if negativity shows up in my mind with thoughts such as ‘everything’s hopeless’ or ‘this always happens to me’, I look at what is positive about the situation, perhaps write a list of my options. In doing so it instantly blows the statement out of the water because actually, everything is not hopeless and here’s a list of the things that aren’t, thank you very much! 🙂

If the chatter of my mind says “Life is so hard, it’s such a struggle, why does it have to be so tough?’ I immediately go to one of my favourite quotes:

‘Life cannot be against you, for you are Life itself. Life can only seem to go against the ego’s projections, which are rarely in harmony with the truth.’ ~ Mooji

My ego’s projections are NOT in harmony with the truth and I change the chatter of my mind to: ‘life may be tough at the moment but the truth is I have grown and learned so much in these tough times’. ‘I have a deeper understanding of life and appreciate my relationship with it’. ‘Life is tough now perhaps, but the truth is, it wasn’t always and it won’t last forever’. Can you see how I choose to put a different spin on the circumstances that face me?

You can do so too. You can separate yourself from the old stories that have become entrenched in your mind. You can change the narrative and attach a different meaning. You can change the filters of your mind and reposition the segments that are real, whilst getting rid of the ones that are not.

It is a process but it does start with YOU, so if you’re ready to change the chatter in your mind here are:

5 Reasons to STOP Believing Your Old Stories

  1. They Don’t Belong To You

Most of the stories you carry around are not only excess baggage, they’re somebody’s else’s excess baggage! The ‘stuff’ others have ‘dumped’ on you which you had little or no say about. The stories usually stem from the unresolved pain of your parents or family who not knowing any better, transfered them on to you.

  1. They Are NOT True

The perception of yourself has unfortunately been tainted and discoloured. Usually it is due to the spectacles from which you view the world. What you see has become dull and dim. But what if you exchanged your old spectacles for brand new ones? The world has not changed but your perception of it, through different lenses, has. The dismal grey view you thought was real, is now being seen in full HD colour through your swanky new spectacles!

  1. They Prevent You From Shining Your Sparkle!

The old stories of your mind have landed you in one negative situation after the other. It translates as anger, disappointment, resistance and restricts the natural flow of life. The shine that lies within wants to sparkle but your negativity stops it from doing so. When you flip the script of your mind it opens a whole new horizon that supports your radiant new shine!

  1. You Are Not Your Mind

‘The greater part of human pain is unnecessary. It is self-created as long as the unobserved mind runs your life. ~ Eckhart Tolle

As long as you continue to identify with the compulsive thoughts of your mind your story will always remain the same. You are NOT your mind and when you step back from the endless stream of tormented thoughts, you discover a reality that lies beyond your mind. Your old stories cease to be and have no power in your life. In a state of mental quietude you remain connected to an infinite source that is only available in the moment of NOW.

  1. You Deserve To BE Free

The more you hold on to your old stories, the more you are enslaved by them. Your stories gather greater and greater momentum as your go through life.

Their destructive façade’ becomes home to your thoughts, judgements, ideas, preconceptions, words, labels and definitions. Their stranglehold keeps you in despair, darkness and isolation.

You deserve to break the cycle that has kept you chained to your old thoughts, patterns and behaviours.

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You deserve to see life through colorful eyes. To enjoy the whisper of your heart and the wonders of your life.

You deserve to be free and explore the furthest spheres of your inner and outer world. You deserve the pleasures of healthy relationships that surround you with fun, joy and laughter.

You deserve to know how beautiful you are and that the world is better because you are in it!

If you have not done so already, it is time to archive your old stories. To banish them to the deep recesses of your mind where they belong. To replace them with new and vibrant stories that fill you up with life-enriching experiences.

I know how difficult it can be to break the cycle of limiting beliefs and change the thought patterns of your mind. I realized the need to do so when the old stories no longer served and supported me.

As a Life Coach, I can help you with strategies and techniques to create a happier and healthier life. If you would like to become empowered and live a more meaningful life, I would be happy to assist you.

Simply drop me a line using the contact us form to tell me a bit more about yourself and what you would like to be coached on. Or if you prefer to get started right away, choose a Coaching Package that suits your requirements and complete the Coaching Form.

Yes! change can be that simple! The journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step!

If you have enjoyed reading my blog and would like more of the same delivered to your inbox, please do sign up for my newsletter. As a bonus you will also receive my free Ebook which is packed with lots of tips to help you improve your life.

It would be great have you on board! 🙂

And as always Stay Blessed, Be Beautiful

Michee Signature_Fotor

 

 

 

 

Michee

Certified Life Coach and Professional Health Coach. Passionate Health and Wellness practitioner for over 20 years. Business entrepreneur and Managing Director. Fitness enthusiast with a love for cycling! Writer (blogger), Poet and Mum.

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22 Responses

  1. Sometimes when I’m feeling a bit down, I’ll go to my journal and write down how I feel and then flip it around to something positive. If my face is suffering from an allergy breakout and it’s really bothering me, I’ll journal about it and end it off how pretty my eyes look or how brown they are. Just to flip a negative into a positive works for me most of the time. If it doesn’t, I have a health coach I can contact and that usually does the trick.

  2. Joe Butka says:

    I find that old stories are an interpretation of my present state of mind. Different stories and events of the pass are triggered by the simplest of things some bring back not so good memories and others bring back fond memories of friend we no longer see whether by distance or passing.

    Regardless they are what make us what we are today, both the good and the bad.

  3. Thanks for sharing your own example and how you turn negative self-talk around. You did so very powerfully. I am fortunate to participate in transformational work these past 20 years and have learned that we all take ‘what happened’, add a story to it, & then relate as if it is fact. I uncollapse this and become present to what is possible. This technique has enriched my life and freed me also from a difficult upbringing.

  4. Ian Campbell says:

    Negative stories can keep you from achieving what you desire most in life. I have met a lot of people in my lifetime who put more into the negativity of their past than in changing their future. My own childhood was not the best, and my early adult years were full of struggle and hardship, but I chose to make my life better, to find love and happiness and to be the real me rather than being defined by the past. The past is exactly that, the past. If what has happened to you was a negative, then I feel using that to push yourself to follow the pathway to who you really are is the biggest step to letting go of it. Great post Michele, makes you think about what is limiting your present. Cheers, Ian

  5. I was fortunate to grow up in a loving home where my parents supported me through every decision I took, whether good or bad, because they felt they were providing a safety net for me and wanted me to have the freedom to be me. Even then, Michee, there are stories related to being bullied by certain children in school and even the stories of dirty corporate politics for reasons that I still don’t understand other than the other person’s insecurity. Painful as those times were, I was taught to remember that it was not my problem but someone else’s and to set up boundaries and give back after a point of time. One thing that I always do to give myself a positive spin is to find something good in each situation because I know that next time round, the story will not be repeated.

  6. Having been a part of the same transformational work as Roslyn mentioned, I understand now that there is “what is so” and then what we make what is so, mean. We humans are meaning making machines and often we come to not only believe our stories about ourselves, but we also live as if the stories are true. Breaking the cycle by learning to be able to stand back and objectively see “the facts” offers great freedom and something I do wish all humans find for themselves. Often the voice creeps back in, as it is challenging at times to see what is ours and what is not. I just was reminded that 98% of everything we think and feel and all the judgements we have, are actually not ours. A simple technique is to ask “Who does this belong too?” and if you feel lighter after asking this, it often dissipates when it is not yours. Thanks for the great post Michelle and so happy you have found yourself and transformed your childhood disfunction, and are able to share “you” with the world.

  7. Deb Nelson says:

    oh my goodness, Michee, anyone who’s having a down-in-the-dumps-kind-of day should read this post. We have the opportunity to re-write our story every day; sometimes it’s not easy, but what a powerful exercise to undertake. Congrats to you for breaking the cycle and becoming such a powerful force! Dumping the negative self-talk and reassessing our lives is so important – interpreting actions of decades ago with a new lens lets us reshape our story and move forward in a positive fashion. Great post ~ thanks for writing it.

  8. Hi Michee,
    What an awesome post!! You have shared some great tips to help with dealing with the old stories that we keep on telling ourselves 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing your background story as well 🙂

  9. Kaz says:

    Great post! As growing up in Japan, I was told many times that I should follow rules and follow someone’s path to be successful. But I realized that I don’t like follow someone’s path because I want to create my own path. More people against me, more power I get. It’s very important not to believe old stories if they are against your belief. Thanks for sharing!

  10. Robin Strohmaier says:

    Hi Michee,

    Great post! We do have the choice to write our own story. Sometimes it is hard to put those negative thoughts out of our minds. I love the quote, “the journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step!”, which is so perfect for this topic. Thank you for sharing this with us, Michee. It does make one stop and think about the potential “old stories” that may be holding us back.

  11. oooooh, Michee, you are such a cupcake kind of gal! FYI–did you know that they have different colored glitter that you can put on your frosted cupcake, just to make sure you got your sparkle on, lol!
    Awesome story; you and I are sure to do some good works around! Thank you for the opportunity to read this!

  12. Michee says:

    Isn’t it amazing how a simple shift in perspective can change what you see? I think there’s also an element of making a conscious decision about how to respond to a situation and putting yourself in the driving seat of your life. I love the example you use Gisele to illustrate a really good point which clearly works for you and on the odd occasion, it doesn’t, well you’ve got your health coach on call. Thanks for sharing your personal experiences with us. x

  13. Michee says:

    Yes Joe, isn’t it astounding how even a particular scent can sometimes take you back to the annals of your childhood or formative years. And as you say, depending where you are emotionally, brings up a corresponding response. I recall recently having a sad day when one of my favourite songs played on the radio. I’ve listened to this song time and time again but yet on that day, it affected me much more solemnly.

    I certainly agree that what we are today is a combination of good and bad experiences but how we choose to respond to them is in my view, the key that unlocks the door to freedom an happiness (or not!) 🙂

  14. Michee says:

    Very powerful Roslyn! Facts can be subjective depending on how we chose to look at them. ‘I had a tumultuous childhood’ is a fact but if I choose to relate to that fact based on what it taught me, how it helped to make me more resilient, a better mother, a nicer person, etc, then I create a new story from these ‘facts’ and move beyond them. It is a transformative process when we are no longer bound by the chains of a painful past and are free to create a future that is more conducive to who we are! Thanks for your candid response and sharing more personal parts of your life.

  15. Michee says:

    Thanks for your comments Ian and for giving us a glimpse in to your past. Like most people, you have overcome challenging beginnings and refused to be a victim of your past. You decide and define your future based on what you see yourself to be. With such a determined spirit, I am not at all surprised that you have found love and happiness! There’s definitely something very compelling about beating the odds and winning which seems to put you in the flow of good things in your life. And as far as the past is concerned, I couldn’t agree with you more, leave it in the past where it belongs!

  16. Michee says:

    Sound like you had a wonderful, supportive and loving childhood Vatsala and yet you still had to go out in to the big wide world and deal with life on life’s terms. I think this is when our stories reveal themselves and really determine how we navigate our way through the playground and the corporate world. Often the interpretation of our parents stories become the spectacles through which we see and interact with life. In your example, you were easily able to define boundaries to protect yourself, quite possible as a result of the protection your parents provided during your own childhood. Someone else who has little or no sense of such protection, may struggle with defining boundaries and end up more exposed to traumatic and ugly situations.

    I love your approach to life and putting a positive spin on each situation, a half full glass is definitely more appealing than one that is half empty! Thank you for sharing your insights on this subject. 🙂

  17. Michee says:

    We do give stuff so much meaning, in fact so much, we begin to believe the stories we tell! It is very liberating to be able to challenge some of the ideas and beliefs that have come from others, namely our parents, family members, institutions etc. Breaking the cycle is very empowering and your whole world is seen through totally different spectacles.

    Of course the old gremlins come creepin’ by but you are in a more powerful position to zap them when they do! Detaching yourself from your negative thoughts and seeing then as quite separate, I agree Beverley, gives them far less meaning and power over you. You become the master and not the slave and banish them accordingly!

    Thank you as always for your encouraging words and appreciation of my work. I suspect are journey of transformation is somewhat similar and worthy of much celebration. 🙂

  18. Michee says:

    Wow Deb, you’ve pretty much summed it up! Looking at our lives with a new lens certainly does help to reshape our story and help us move forward in a positive fashion. So well said and I’m happy you enjoyed my post! I love the concept of each new day bringing an opportunity to re-write our story! I have felt this often and embrace the chance to do it even better this new day! I have indeed broken the cycle of my own childhood and lived to tell the tale in my blogs! Thanks for your heart-felt sincerity and support. 🙂

  19. Michee says:

    Thank you Joan, I hope sharing my own story will help others overcome theirs! 🙂

  20. Michee says:

    Oh what a wonderful example of breaking free from the chains that enslave us! But indeed you did break free Kaz and followed your own path. You recognised that nobody can walk your path but you. Only you can unleash your potential and greatness to the world and it seems you have done exactly that! How powerful and so worth it! It takes courage to challenge the status quo and move in a different direction from what is expected of us but it also leaves a strong legacy for our children and to the world. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! 🙂

  21. Michee says:

    If one person has thought about old stories possibly holding them back then I’d be happy and my job done! We can re-write our story, we don’t have to remain victims of the extraneous layers we carry around from the past. Recognising the burden of this weight is the first step in dumping what we no longer need, what does not honour who we are. This transformation does not happen over night which is why I used this particular quote Robin, because the journey starts with the first step. I appreciate your comments. 🙂

  22. Michee says:

    Well thank you my kindred cupcake! It’s late and I’m tired but let me go get that glitter so I can get my sparkle on! Lol! I’m glad you liked my story and I have no doubt about the work you an I have to do around here! Thanks for taking the time to stop by and leave your colourful comment, I appreciate you Liz. 🙂

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