Self-Love – 6 Reasons To Love Yourself First!

Power of positive belief, positive attitude, positive statements, self-improvement, affirmationsOur relationships are the glue that keeps everything together. Whether those relationships are in the work place, the local church, with family, friends or with a spouse, most of us have relationships on some level or another.

After all it’s what makes us human. Whether we like it or not, at the very core of human behavior is a psychological need to belong. It is part of our nature to seek love, acceptance and form close connections with others.

We are social beings and share a common bond that truly helps us navigate our way through life. When there is a strong connection during the early stages of childhood for example with family, friends and our community networks, I believe it sets the stage for the relationships we inevitably attract in the future.

Consequently, those who have experienced strong, healthy relationships as a normal part of their experience, tend to seek them out and fit more comfortably in the environment of a well-balanced relationship.

So indeed it is perfectly healthy and normal to have friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, a lover and your significant other to feature and play that role in your life.

When Relationships Go Awry!

But what happens when friends move away. When that ‘you know what’ you thought was your best friend, runs off with your husband? How could they do that to you?!

What becomes of you when you lose your job and co-workers all go their separate ways, never to be seen again?

Or what about that awful media scandal involving Pastor John and that 15-year old that your church never quite recovered from, forcing them to close up shop?

And how could you ever look at your sister again after she stole all your savings and spent it on her man?

When your mother died it hurt, oh how it hurt.

The relationships we have with others are an important part of our lives and our development. Some are good and others not so good but they all have one thing in common.

Like life itself, all relationships change.

Nothing in life is constant. Every single thing is subject to the changing cycles of life. And it is this principle that underpins the 6 reasons that you should love yourself first. Because when all else is gone, guess what? There is only YOU.

You’re the one that has to pick up the pieces after a broken marriage or fill up your life up with meaning after your children go off to college. Even after a challenging or traumatic experience, you are the only one that can put ‘you’ back together again!

That’s not to say you won’t have family and friends to support you in such difficult times, you most likely will. But you are the one that has to tap in to your inner self and find the strength and courage to overcome whatever obstacles come your way.   No one else can make that journey, but you.

And so often is the case that you don’t know how. Women in particular spend their entire life giving and doing for others. To the kids, husbands, family, friends, to their career, to everybody else, but to yourself!

But you MUST give to yourself because it creates the strongest and most precious platform to enable you to give to others.

With that said here are 6 Reasons To Love YOU First:

  1. Greatness starts with YOU

You are here in this world to be GREAT. That journey begins with self-discovery. It is not conditional on what your mother thinks, your husband expects, or what your kid’s demand.

None of the above.

It is a treasure chest of jewels that lie within and can ONLY be found when you embark on that intimate and personal journey of Self. Greatness is YOU realized.

  1. To Seek Your Purpose


When you love YOU first everything you do is from a place of authenticity. You don’t have to pretend to be anything else, but you.

And guess what? From that authentic place you discover what you love, what your passions are, what you get joy from, and it all comes wrapped up in your life’s purpose.

And the best thing of all? You get to do what you love and it naturally and perfectly aligns with Who You Are. The grand design of your life is a multitude of colours and contours!

“I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as I’ve become. If I had, I’d have done it a lot earlier.” ~ Oprah Winfrey

3.   You Place A High VALUE On Who You Are

When you truly love YOU it reverberates to the furthest reaches of the Universe and sets a standard that attracts goodness in to your life.

You reject abusive, destructive and dysfunctional situations that do not serve you. You have no problem recognizing the cost of staying in a hostile relationship and refuse to be trampled on.

When you love YOU, others will too and you will find yourself in the embrace of wholesome and healthy relationships.

Loving YOU sends a powerful statement into to ethereal realms that returns beautiful, deep, meaningful and enriching experiences to support your journey.

  1. For Those Who Love You♥

When you give, give and give to others and not to yourself, you end up tired, depleted and incapable of being the very best version of YOU.

It means you’re worn out for the kids. Your get up and go has all but got up and gone, when it comes to fun between the sheets with hubby.

And as for hitting those performance targets at work, well, you are the moving target and sooner or later, you’re going to get hit!

So slow down, take time out, putting YOU first means you are operating from the best place possible to give more to those you love. It’s a win win for all,  your loved ones need you to shine and NOT to fall.

  1. When The Storm Comes Riding By!

We’ve all been there! You lost your job, your husband walked out, your car was repossessed, your business crashed or your son wounded up on drugs! 🙁

Life hits and when it does, it hits hard!

You find yourself alone, down and out. The chips aren’t down, they’re gone! And excuse the cliché but even ya blues got blues!

Where do you go, what do you do? You STOP! And turn to YOU!

You dig deep down inside and pull out the strength and resolve you need to get up. To face another tomorrow and to overcome the obstacles weighing you down.

Loving YOU has created the indelible platform to weather the storm and come out smiling on the other side.

You are perfectly positioned to swim up stream, take the knock backs and get back in the game.

You are not going to crumple and die, the stuff you’re made of has a solid foundation and you draw upon it in times of need to pull you through.

So when the storm comes riding by, you’re ready, prepared and able to ride baby ride those waves! 🙂

  1. Loving YOU is Classy!

Have you ever met someone who has a very natural charm and style and a certain Je ne sais quoi? Their smile lights up a room and you’re magnetized by their graceful charisma?

And it’s not because of some tight tacky boob and butt all in your face type of style. It’s classy! It’s different, it’s chic and sexy all rolled into one hell of a dynamic bold, beautiful and spirited woman.

If you have ever met someone like that who is kind and exudes an attractive self-confidence with a flair all of her own, chances are, she’s in love with herself.


When you love YOU, your smile is from the inside out and warms the hearts of many. Your view of the world is from a happy place and what you want for yourself, you sincerely want for others. It is a pleasure to be in your company and you may very well have found, the ultimate secret to happiness!

So you see, loving yourself first gives rise to and creates a space for all the things that you value in your life. It’s not selfish, it’s not sacrifice or self-centred, it’s quite simply the most important and necessary gift you give to yourself and to the world.

Give yourself permission to Love You, click here for some great ways to get started.

Have fun you guys!

If you have enjoyed reading, come subscribe to my Newsletter for even more nourishment of your Mind, Body and Spirit.

Be Blessed, Stay Beautiful




Certified Life Coach and Professional Health Coach. Passionate Health and Wellness practitioner for over 20 years. Business entrepreneur and Managing Director. Fitness enthusiast with a love for cycling! Writer (blogger), Poet and Mum.

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20 Responses

  1. So much truth in this post Michelle, and yet it remains an elusive idea for many people, to start within and to love themselves first. I love the 6th point, “It’s Classy”, as those who have a strong inner sense and exude that into the world do have a sense of style and class and there is something about them that often is irresistible.

    This concept is starting to come to light in the media world, as I see more and more brands who are looking at ways to uplift people, especially young girls, vs. making them believe they are not enough and in need of a “fix” they have to offer. I see how women as we age, have a much more challenging time coming to grips with accepting who they are without their youthful beauty. I just invited someone who desperately needs some support for her health to a conversation, and she is so wrapped up in her mother’s illness and now being hospitalized, that she cannot even take 30 minutes for herself. This makes me sad, when people can’t see the necessary value of putting themselves first so that they can be their best for others in their lives. I imagine it is a learning for us all, something we come to in our own time. Thanks for sharing another insightful post and for offering us all an opportunity to fall in love with ourselves again.

  2. Ian Campbell says:

    If you don’t have love for yourself, you are doomed to rely on others for your self esteem and happiness.

    Unfortunately, as you point out things change in life so you may not have the people around you that you rely on all the time.

    It’s funny, I was brought up in a household where being self confident and being able to love yourself was frowned upon. It was presumed that there was something inherently wrong with this and was considered to be egotistical.

    I did however overcome this and can say I am very comfortable with loving who I am. It also has the added benefit of allowing me to let others into my life because I want to rather than need to.

    Great article Michelle that shows why self love is such an important thing for us all.

  3. Hi Michelle,
    I have missed your blogs! You hit so many home runs in this article. I am thankful for the strong foundation of relationships in my childhood and with my family. I see so many people with abandonment and attachment issues that really struggle with the essence of relationships. Even when we experience healthy relationships, most of us forget that the relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship. If we do not nurture this relationship, how can we have anything left to pour into others?!

  4. Most people have to overcome the notion that loving & taking care of oneself first is ‘selfish’. Women in particular, are raised to be other driven, so no wonder it seems ‘wrong’ to be in love with self. We see many males who are arrogant, egotistical, etc because they love themselves so much. I learned at an early age to take care of myself, my needs & desires without thinking that it meant self love. I’m glad I did as Ive been able to create satisfying relationships, mend some, discard some, etc. Thought provoking piece as always.

  5. Deb says:

    Love this post for so many reasons! Your six points bring it all home – each one equally important. One of my fav quotes from your intro: “Because when all else is gone, guess what? There is only YOU.” Great motivation. Great inspiration. Great post. Merci!

  6. Hi Michee,

    Really enjoyed your post on self-love!!! I need to work on a few of your tips lol Thanks so much for sharing these need to do ideas for loving ourselves first 🙂 So important! Great share!!

  7. Michee says:

    Hi Beverley, you really have a strong sense of what I am trying to share in my post. Being classy is all about loving yourself from the inside and out and a classy chic can’t help but exude that to the rest of the world! When you operate from this place, you light up the world and people can’t get enough of your sparkle! 🙂

    As a Life Coach, I come from that place of ‘I’m ok, you’re ok’ and so really there’s nothing to ‘fix’ as you so correctly say when I am working with a client. It much more about recognising that you are enough which incidentally leads to one of my recent quotes. ‘I am enough. I have learned that no one else can give me what I must give myself’. Michelle H. A williams

    I absolutely hear you as you describe your encounter with the young lady taking care of her mother. As women we often feel it is our duty to give and give and give even to our own demise and this is indeed is sad. Putting yourself first is a prerequisite to giving to others at the same time recognising your own self care needs. When this is the case, it creates a healthy and happy space for you and others to flourish.

    Thank you for bringing such insightful thought to the conversation.

  8. Michee says:

    It’s great to hear your perspective Ian and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on the issue of Self-love. I so agree with your opening line that relying on others for your self-esteem and happiness will lead to doom and gloom. Happiness can only come from within and so the most important relationship in your life, is the one your nurture with yourself.

    I also came from a family that did little to encourage a strong sense of self, fortunately I was able to take a turn in the road which led to a totally new appreciate of me from the inside and out. I am happy you did the same and now feel very comfortable with loving who you are. When this is the case we bring our joyful self to the world with excitement and vibrancy.

  9. Michee says:

    Hi Sharise, thank you, it’s lovely to be back after a short blog break! You’ve pretty much summed it up in one line when you talk about the relationship we have with ourself. I think nurturing this relationship determines the quality of the relationships we have with others. One of the most important aspects of self-love is opening yourself up and receiving love from others. Many women get stuck here because they are afraid to render themselves vulnerable.

    You are indeed fortunate to come from a family with a strong foundation that played a pivotal role in shaping your sense of self. They gave you tools that allowed you to navigate the world from a well anchored place within. This would have undoubtedly coloured your choices and decisions and propelled you to heights sadly unseen by others who could not or did not embark on their own journey of self-love.

    Thank you for sharing from a personal perspective.

  10. Michee says:

    Thank you Roslyn and it is always great to hear from women who embrace self-care as an integral part of their journey. I do agree with you that the socialisation process hinders many women from celebrating who they are. Other people dump stuff on to us and have their own ideas and expectations of what a women should bring to the table. Sadly our society is influenced by arrogant, egotistical men who want nothing more than for us to satisfy their every whim and fancy and when we don’t or challenge the status quo, we’re some how left to feel unworthy or that we have failed in our duties in some way! Goodness, am I actually writing this on 2015?!

    It’s important that we define ourselves and not let others with hidden agendas do so. Self-love should be taught at an early age so that as young people grow in up, they have a strong foundation and feel more connected with themselves rather than going elsewhere for that sense of connection. They’s certainly enjoy healthier, happier relationships being anchored from a soulful place within!

    Thank you for your comments Roslyn.

  11. Michee says:

    Thank you kindly Deb I am delighted that you enjoyed my post. I think most of us have been in situations where we look around and are forced to answer that ‘guess what’ question! A marriage that you thought would last forever. Your best friend who becomes your worst enemy. Your mother or close family member who dies unexpectedly. All sad situations that give you a reality check, there is only YOU! That’s why it’s imperative that YOU take care of YOU so you can weather the inevitable storms when they come along in your life! 🙂

  12. Michee says:

    You’re welcome Joan, I’m glad you enjoyed my post. I think self-love is a work in progress which we all need to continue on a regular basis so if my post serves as a healthy reminder, then it’s done it’s job! Always a pleasure to share! 🙂

  13. Loving yourself is so important. My fiance and I were recently interviewed for a relationship blog and I was asked about what type of advice I would give to women who were seeking a husband and hoping to be married in the future. The thing I shared is also something I share with my own coaching clients who are struggling with similar concerns and that is you have to first love yourself before attempting to love another. You must be whole already and not be looking to someone else to complete you. It is unfair to expect someone to be the source of your happiness. Your happiness comes from loving yourself first.

  14. Kaz says:

    Thank you for sharing the great message, Michee! My daughter has a book called “I love myself”, which is totally what you mentioned here in this article. To love someone, be nice to others, we need to look after and love ourselves first. I 100% agree with you! Thanks again for the great blog posting!

  15. Lori Ann says:

    Excellent post! It’s so important to remember that we need our own love first in order to love anyone else. It’s the best friends that fade out of sight that still make me sad, but I’m left with so many still dear friends that it heals those vacancies.

  16. Michee says:

    So true and so beautifully put Niquenya. Being whole allows you to give and receive love from a place of openess and vulnerability. You don’t rely on your partner to make you happy, it is already who you are. You are a free to enjoy the relationship without seeking approval, burdening your other half to meet your every need or playing games. Love just is! Happy to know you’re able to enjoy a loving and fulfilling relationship with your finance’ and helping others find the same with theirs. Appreciate your comments.

  17. Michee says:

    Great to know you’re teaching your daughter all about self-love at such an early age Kaz. I look forward to a new generation of women who embody self-love in all aspects of their lives and it becomes something normal and natural for them. You are so right, we need to love ourselves first before we can give love to others. I’m glad you enjoyed my blog, I appreciate your comments.

  18. Michee says:

    Thank you Lori Ann I’m so glad you like the post. You echo the very sentiment of my post so well. We do indeed need to love ourselves first before we can possibly give love to others or receive it from others. People come in and out of our lives and for the ones who leave, we should cherish the time we spent with them. Friends are often for a reason, a season or a lifetime and it sounds like you’ve at least got some who will remain for a lifetime. 🙂 I appreciate your comments.

  19. Michelle, this is so very true – and one that we all forget. It is important to take care of ourselves or we can’t take care of others, whether they are clients or family. I have taken this idea to heart as I go through some changes within my family and my business. I can see my greatness, now I have to remove the fear and just go for it; trusting and believing all will be well – then I can get the rest I need and stop the needless worry I have going over and over in my mind. It’s also why I also pick a few weekends and at least 1 week a year to totally detox from digital and the the world has not stopped moving and nobody has fallen off! thank you for the reminder – loving ourselves has to be job 1 so we can then love others.

  20. Michee says:

    So well put Tamara and I love the idea of zoning out from the digital distractions a few weekends and even better for a whole week per year! We are constantly bombarded with challenges and changes and the stronger we are the better we become at dealing with them. Our best defence is self-love where we can more easily recognise the need to retreat and replenish not just for ourselves but for those we love as well. I know you have had a lot coming at you recently but you are not only one to see your greatness, I can too and I have no doubt you will overcome them one by one and create the life of your dreams. You already have all the ingredients you need so trust and believe in yourself, everything else… let it go! I appreciate you sharing yourself Tamara. x

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