If you are over 35, chances are you’re no stranger to the dating scene. You’ve probably already experienced short, medium and long-term relationships, had your heart broken a couple of times and are either jaded or jazzed by the prospect of meeting your dream guy.
If you are already in a relationship, you likely fit in to the category of fair to fine, steamy hot or painfully monotonous!
For most people, relationships are the cornerstone of life so I thought it would be fun to probe a bit deeper into what makes them special.
What are the essential ingredients in the type of relationship you would love to be part of? What makes the magic happen to create that life-long bound between you and your other half?
Whether you are single and looking for Mr Right or in a relationship that needs a bit more razzamatazz, here are the 10 essential ingredients to help you spot, if your relationship is great or not! 🙂
- Communication Is Key
Your partner is your best friend and is the go to person when you need to talk about your feelings, thoughts or ideas. Even if it’s just for a chat or a bit of a gossip, your partner has created a safe place for you to be heard and what you say, to be valued.
- Trust Is A Must!
If it’s not 100% it’s not trust. You know he is there for you and would never compromise your relationship. No need to second-guess this guy. What he says and what he does is congruent and leaves no room for doubt. You trust him enough to give him your all because you know he will never hurt you.
- Naked Not Just Between The Sheets
How comfortable are you being totally naked? I’m not talking about the no clothes get down and dirty kind of naked! I mean the nakedness that renders you completely open and vulnerable? Your partner has provided such a sense of honesty and security in your relationship, it allows you to share the deepest and darkest parts of your being, without judgment or reprisal.
- Good Old Gut Wrenching Laughter!
Even if your guy will never win comedian of the year, making you laugh and bringing fun your way is a must! Being in a relationship with Mr Serious is so heavy, it can literally weigh you down. Any guy that lightens the load and puts a smile on your face in the process, is definitely a keeper! 🙂
- Honesty Really Is The Best Policy
If he’s a liar, let him go because honesty is the ONLY policy when it comes to a healthy relationship. Being honest is not only high on his priority, it defines his character and conduct. In all situations the good, the bad and the ugly, his honesty sets the standard for your relationship to thrive.
- A Friend For Life!
Some friendships are for a reason, some for a season, but this one you know, is for a lifetime! Exploring the friendship part of your relationship takes you to the heart of undiscovered territory. There are no rules, regulations or restrictions, just a beautiful environment where two friends flow and grow. The sky’s the limit when a relationship starts from this kind of foundation or when you create it in your current one.
- Being Present Is The Best Present Of All
When you’re not being distracted by the compulsive chatter of your mind, there’s a long list of other distractions waiting to take over your time and sap your energy. Being present is the quality that lets go of the outside noise and creates a quiet space in the moment. Your partner not only sees and hears you without distraction but connects with you at a very deep level. The synergistic connection becomes one and you can share to your heart’s content.
- Patience, Kindness And Understanding
‘A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else’. ~ George Savile
Patience is a reflection of inner growth not assigned to those who wait but to those who wait kindly. His patience is his hallmark and he uses it well to navigate his way through life.
‘A warm smile is the universal language of kindness’. ~ William Arthur Ward
He IS Kindness! He radiates it in all situations and wears it not on his sleeve, but in his heart. He knows a warm smile will keep the fire burning much longer than a heated argument.
‘The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding’. ~ Leonardo da Vinci
Understanding is the journey he walks, wearing the shoes of others. You see it in his empathy, compassion and ability to see life through someone else’s eyes.
Understanding is imbued in his character which values yours and all perspectives.
- Passion, Passion, Don’t Let It Go Out Of Fashion!
What keeps the fire burning
and keeps the soul alive.
What’s the stuff that moves mountains
and the fuel that powers your drive? Passion of course!
Passion is the excitement, the energy that takes your relationship from zero to infinity! It’s in the way he looks at you and the many ways he adores you. Passion is the sweat pouring off your skin when he makes love to you and then holds you gently in his warm embrace.
Passion is what moves him into the discovery zone of your life where he learns everything about your nature and your needs.
Passion is the pulse of your relationship and he does his utmost to keep it alive.
Last but by no means least is that crazy little thing called Love!
Love is the glue that keeps your relationship together. It is embodied in his appreciation of you. You feel the presence of it during the good times and the bad.
It is in his actions and his attitude and you know it because he is open and always willing to give.
Love is the enduring principle that keeps you safe, keeps you cherished and keeps you forever in his heart.
Your relationship is expressed as love, you know it and feel it at a deep and meaningful level.
Is Your Relationship Hot Or Not?
Hot and Steamy
If you are lucky enough to check all 10 on the above list, you are obviously in a great relationship. But even so, the list could still be helpful to ensure it stays that way!
A great relationship doesn’t remain great all by itself. Like anything worth keeping, you have to work at it, re-invent it and discover new ways to keep it fresh.
So if you don’t want to go from steamy hot to a monotonous luke warm, don’t take your relationship for granted. Treat it like the first day you met and enjoy it like it’s the last day you get!
Fair to Fine
If your relationship is in the category of fair to fine or heading towards dull, you need to spice it up and give it some razzle-dazzle!
Unless you are feeling for a pulse, it’s not too late for your relationships to rekindle the romance and make sweet music again. However, both parties have to be eager and willing to make the commitment and put in the work necessary to make it special again.
Why Am I Here?
If you have not checked any boxes or struggle to match your partner with any of the qualities on the list, it may be time to sit down and ask yourself some serious questions.
Nobody can tell you the direction to take in your relationship but if you don’t have an answer to the question why am I here, then you have got some deep soul searching to do. It sounds like you need an adventure, not to the great Pacific Ocean or the Mountains of Kilimanjaro but to YOU!
The number one rule about falling in love, is to fall in love with You first!
And if you don’t fall in to any of the categories above, it means you’re single and ready to mingle!
I’m A Single Lady!
When you are looking for that special person, don’t sell yourself short. Expect nothing less than the qualities you see on the list when searching for your soulmate.
You deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Be open and allow love to flow in your direction. Leave your resistance in the garage, attic or anywhere else that stores broken baggage or stuff you no longer need. Just be the adorable, fun-loving YOU and all good things will come your way.
As a Life Coach I help you develop skills and take practical steps to create a more meaningful life. If you would like my assistance in your search for a relationship, or to improve an existing relationship, I would be happy to work with you.
Read more on the role a Life Coach, choose the coaching package that meets your requirements, then simply complete the form to get started. Or why not drop me a line using the contact us form and I can schedule a free 30 minute consultation.
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Be Blessed, Stay Beautiful!